Chapter 5: The Most Lecherous Eunuch in History

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“I deserve to die, I dare not!”
Tian Ergeng immediately knelt down.
Chongzhen’s expression was calm, but inwardly he sneered. He wanted to tell Tian Ergeng, “You deserve to die; I want to behead you.”
Yet he couldn’t say this now. The Embroidered Uniform Guard was indeed the emperor’s personal army, but that was before the Wanli era.
Under the Tianqi reign, after Wei Zhongxian allied with the wet nurse Ke Shi and seized power, most of the Embroidered Uniform Guard’s senior officers sided with Wei Zhongxian.
This included the commander Tian Ergeng, deputy commander Xu Xianchun, Eastern Censor Yang Huan, and Minister of War Cui Chengxiu—collectively known as the Five Tigers.
A good man wasted, choosing instead to become a lapdog for the eunuch faction.
When Qin Liangyu’s white-flag soldiers enter the capital, this score will be settled slowly.
“As for the Duke of Yingguo, you need not concern yourself. I’ve heard that many recently have tried to curry favor with my father-in-law, Zhou Kui, by sending lavish gifts. Investigate this matter thoroughly. You may go.”
“I obey the imperial order!”
Tian Ergeng responded and exited the East Warming Pavilion, sweat beading on his forehead.
The new emperor had been enthroned for nearly a month. Tian Ergeng had met him several times but never felt such intense pressure as today.
After walking several dozen meters, he glanced back at the East Warming Pavilion, then headed toward the palace exit. Today’s new emperor was acting strangely; he needed to consult Wei Zhongxian.
Chongzhen inside the pavilion was unaware of Tian Ergeng’s departure, and even if he knew, he was too indifferent to care.
The reason he tested Fang Zhenghua’s strength at the capital garrison today had three main considerations.
First, the palace’s Embroidered Uniform Guard could have been used, but they often traveled outside and retained some combat effectiveness, differing from the enemy forces at Fang Zhenghua’s death.
Second, he wanted to use this opportunity to assess the garrison’s condition, which, as he suspected, was poor—the soldiers were old, weak, sick, and ineffective in battle.
Lastly, he intended to send a message to the Duke of Yingguo and others.
Including reprimanding the chief eunuch Wang Tiqian of the Directorate of Ceremonies and the Embroidered Uniform Guard commander Tian Ergeng was also a test of Wei Zhongxian’s stance.
Together, these moves were a signal to the Donglin faction: I am dissatisfied with the eunuchs and the garrison, so stir up some trouble.
Dog bites dog, then I have a chance to strike the dog.
If the Duke of Yingguo thought his hereditary first-rank dukedom and the support that lifted him to power meant the emperor dared not kill him, he was gravely mistaken.
The capital garrison was the city’s shield. Without reforming it, many plans could not be set in motion.

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After some thought, Chongzhen wrote down another name—Li Banghua.
If the Ming Dynasty wanted to reform military affairs, it had to be Li Banghua. Even Sun Chengzong was less effective than him.
“Daban, has Fang Zhenghua returned? Let him come in!”
“I am Fang Zhenghua…”
“Enough of the formalities in private from now on!”
Chongzhen cut off Fang Zhenghua’s salute and continued, “Choose a disciple, give him my imperial edict, and secretly bring Li Banghua into the capital!”
Fang Zhenghua hesitated, “Your Majesty, is this not the Li Banghua, Right Vice Minister of War, impeached by Wei Zhongxian in the fourth year of Tianqi?”
“Yes, that’s him. Let him enter the capital in secret.”
At this moment, the main hall of the Duke of Yingguo’s mansion was tightly shut. Around a dozen people sat noisily.
“Duke of Yingguo, what did His Majesty mean this morning? It seems inexplicable!”
“The new emperor just ascended and instead of dealing with factional struggles, he comes to the capital garrison?”
“Even if the emperor wanted to test Fang Zhenghua’s strength, isn’t there the Embroidered Uniform Guard in the palace? What’s the meaning of coming to the garrison?”
…
“Enough!”
Zhang Weixian slammed his teacup on the table, silencing the noise immediately.
“The emperor’s meaning is clear: he is reprimanding us. The new emperor wants change, which is understandable. I suspect he will act against the capital garrison soon.
I’m tired of your past misdeeds; now clean up your acts.
Train your soldiers well during this time. Don’t give the emperor any excuse to blame you, or I won’t be able to save you. Think about this carefully.”
The generals’ faces darkened, wanting to protest, but seeing Zhang Weixian’s grim expression, they fell silent.
After the generals dispersed, Zhang Zhiji whispered, “Father, is the young emperor targeting us?”
“Without our support, he would never have ascended. Is he really that ruthless?”
Smack!
Zhang Weixian slapped him fiercely, angry, “You called for him! Do you want to die?”

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“Remember, no matter how much you disdain His Majesty, you must never neglect etiquette at any time. If you want to live long, this is crucial!”
Looking at his wronged son, Zhang Weixian whispered, “Today’s matter is the emperor’s reprimand. Our Zhang family has held the Duke of Yingguo title for seven generations, and with our loyal service and control over the capital garrison’s forces, the emperor likely won’t harm us.
But if things get out of hand, killing a few nobles is possible. So, restrain the people of the Duke’s mansion, keep them from causing trouble, and closely supervise the garrison’s nobles.”
“Father, rest assured. If anyone dares to court death, I’ll kill them myself!”
Zhang Weixian nodded and then sank into deep thought.
He sensed the emperor intended to reform the garrison, but the factions there were deeply entangled, involving many interests. If truly set in motion, the emperor might not withstand the backlash.
Yet the signal the emperor sent today was clear. He didn’t know where the emperor’s confidence came from. Now he had to decide whether to actively court favor or maintain neutrality.
…
In the East Warming Pavilion of the Qianqing Palace, Chongzhen worked until after the ninth hour (around 9 PM), compiling all he knew.
This included personal security, military authority, army reforms, land reforms, foreign policy, economy, industry, agriculture, cultural development, and more. Combined with the current situation, it formed a blueprint for the sustainable development of the Ming Dynasty.
Just as Chongzhen was about to review it further, a commotion outside caught his attention. Before he could summon anyone, Wang Cheng’en rushed in, face pale with fear.
“Daban, why the rush?”
“Your… Majesty, a eunuch just reported from the Ciqing Palace that the chief eunuch Chen Derun brazenly stormed into Ciqing Palace, intending to…”
Wang Cheng’en stopped, unwilling to continue. Chongzhen suddenly stood up, cursing inwardly.
After all his efforts today, he had completely forgotten about Chen Derun, the most lecherous eunuch in history.
Chongzhen could no longer sit still.
“Wang Cheng’en, go to Kunning Palace and summon the Empress to accompany the Imperial Sister-in-Law at Ciqing Palace. Tell her it’s late and there might be gossip; I will pay respects to her tomorrow and resolve this matter!”
“Fang Zhenghua, take men personally to capture Chen Derun. Remember, whoever obstructs you must be killed without mercy!”
“Also, do not allow him to contact anyone en route—no chance for suicide!”
“Moreover, summon Wang Tiqian, Wei Zhongxian, Tian Ergeng, and today’s duty deputy commander and chief internal affairs officer to see me!”