Volume 1, Chapter 12: Siblings

After Shen Ran departed, Xue Wu pulled Zhao Yuanzhuo close and studied him intently for a moment, her eyes brimming with unshed tears.

"How have you lost so much weight in just a few days?"

"Quickly, sit down! You must eat something first!"

A flicker of warmth crossed Zhao Yuanzhuo’s eyes, yet he immediately took a step back, lowering his voice. "I dare not overstep my bounds with Her Majesty the Empress."

Xue Wu was taken aback.

She had shared a bond as close as sisters with Zhao Yuanzhuo’s older sister, Zhao Qinglan, and had always treated Zhao Yuanzhuo like a younger brother of her own. Having watched him grow up, their relationship had always been affectionate. With Shen Ran present earlier, they could not speak freely, but she had not expected that once he was gone, Zhao Yuanzhuo would remain so distant.

Fixing her beautiful eyes on the youth’s face, Xue Wu spoke softly, "Yuanzhuo, are you blaming me in your heart for failing to save your family, for failing to save your sister?"

"How could Your Majesty think such a thing?"

Zhao Yuanzhuo shook his head. "You exhausted yourself running about on my behalf and for my sister. If I held even the slightest resentment toward you, may the heavens strike me down, and may I meet a wretched end."

He spoke the oath with a casual lightness.

Xue Wu frowned. "Do not say such things."

Zhao Yuanzhuo bowed. "I have spoken out of turn."

It seemed as if he had shed the innocence of youth overnight, turning steady and mature. Yet, in these circumstances, such maturity was truly heartbreaking.

Xue Wu looked at the youth before her and asked again, "Then what is the reason?"

She did not wait for him to respond, answering her own question: "The Emperor?"

The youth’s dark, thick lashes fluttered like the wings of a moth. He lowered his gaze, remaining silent.

Xue Wu tightened her brow. "Yuanzhuo, I know the Emperor’s actions can be extreme, but he has been deceived by others. I believe he will certainly grant General Zhao justice."

Zhao Yuanzhuo remained silent for a long time. Finally, he spoke. "My family has been wronged and suffered, and now, simply because the Emperor promises justice, am I expected to be filled with fear and gratitude?"

"People say that if a sovereign commands a subject to die, he must die, but I refuse to believe it. If a king is wise, his subjects should naturally be loyal. But if a king is unwise or even foolish, must his subjects still practice blind loyalty?"

Xue Wu trembled, a look of sorrow washing over her features. She could not answer his question.

"I beg for the Empress's forgiveness." Zhao Yuanzhuo knelt on the ground. "But please, Your Majesty, rest assured—these are merely my own rebellious and sorrowful words. My father and brothers were both loyal and patriotic men; I would never let them be shamed on my account. And furthermore..."

He paused. "In my heart, you will always be my own sister. If you have any command for me, I would walk through fire and water, dying a thousand deaths without regret."

"If that is so," Xue Wu said, "why be so distant?"

Zhao Yuanzhuo was silent for a moment.

A short while later, he bowed his head again. "If the Emperor can truly wake up, cherish you, keep you in his heart, and stop listening to the words of villains, I will naturally be happy for you. But, if I may speak bluntly, it is difficult for a person’s nature to change so easily. His Majesty’s current actions are truly ambiguous. Even if you do not suspect him, you should not grant him your absolute trust so readily. Furthermore..."

Zhao Yuanzhuo lifted his dark, clear eyes to look at Xue Wu. "Empress, I once thought that as long as my conscience was clear, it did not matter what I did."

"But now I understand that is not the case. The bond between us is as pure as that of siblings, and we have nothing to hide, but others may not see it that way."

"I am still a man under indictment. If I am too close to you, not only will the Emperor be suspicious, but others in the palace will be as well. If those with malicious intent use this to weave a narrative and bring harm to your reputation, I could not atone for it even with ten thousand deaths."

With that final sentence, his self-reference reverted to that of a "subject." It was as if this single word had erected a barrier between them.

A divide as wide as a river.

A boundary as clear as the meeting of the Jing and Wei rivers.

Even though they stood within arm’s reach, they could never return to how things once were.

Xue Wu stood stunned for a moment, then wiped her eyes. A glistening droplet remained on her fingertip.