Chapter 11: Close Quarters Combat

When studying economic history, he recalled a theory proposed by Lawrence Peter.

In a hierarchical system, every employee tends to be promoted to a position at which they are incompetent.

Over time, every role within an organization will inevitably be occupied by someone incapable of performing effectively, while the truly efficient work is carried out by those who have not yet been promoted beyond their competence.

Li Chang’an called to Guang He, “Go, buy a bit of every snack for me—I’m absolutely craving it.”

All morning, while others queued and had time to eat, he had only sipped tea.

Now that he finally had the chance, he intended to indulge.

Before long, vendors began arriving one after another, piling dish after dish, bowl after bowl of snacks before him.

“Master Immortal, what money? Without your summons, we’d still be stuck at the dock enduring the stench!”

Soon, the table was heaped like a small mountain.

Cao Rui was still furious, ordering his men to summon reinforcements; today, he was determined to teach Li Chang’an a lesson.

“Come, Captain Xing, join us for a bite!”

Old Xing felt embarrassed; having just bungled his duties and betrayed Li Chang’an, he now hid shyly, unable to meet anyone’s eyes.

If this got back to the Kaifeng Prefecture, his colleagues would surely torment him.

Li Chang’an leisurely enjoyed his food while watching Cao Rui’s farce unfold.

He thought to himself, the old adage never lies. Wealth never lasts beyond three generations; once prosperity stabilizes, efficiency gives way to other priorities.

Just look—a noble family with two generations of empresses at the helm has sent out such a figurehead to carry the banner.

Indeed, the Song dynasty had reached a point where reform was necessary.

These deadweights had begun to invade the very core of the body like cancer cells.

“Young master, what shall we do? Perhaps you should seek Lord Ouyang Xiu’s help. After all, he was Scholar Su’s mentor and might assist us.”

Guang He was worried. The young master had borrowed a great deal of money; if the business failed, he might have to sell himself.

“Patience. Let the bullets fly a little longer.”

Guang He didn’t understand—why suddenly mention bullets when the young master didn’t even play with slingshots?

Cao Rui’s men raced back to the city, and soon reinforcements arrived, surrounding the scene completely.

Everyone’s identities were checked, forms filled, and oaths sworn.

Having eaten and drunk his fill, Li Chang’an stood and warmly thanked the vendors.

Exhausted—so exhausted!

Having never set foot in the workforce, he was terrified by the intensity of the labor. Indeed, grand narratives were always the province of youth; it was easy to speak when standing comfortably.

Once upon a time, he too had been a leftist.

After three days of hard labor, he had become a pragmatist.

This could not continue; he had to think and find a suitable solution.

There was nothing new under the sun; people surely wouldn’t still rely solely on supervisors watching every step a thousand years from now—there had to be a better way.

Cao Rui was somewhat mad. Despite his family’s warnings, he stubbornly pressed on.

At first, no one complained, but when Li Chang’an retreated indoors and posted a sign declaring an early rest for the day, the crowd’s anger could no longer be contained.

After enduring the sun all morning, just as their turn approached, Cao Rui spoiled everything.

What about the sweat they had shed? The numb legs from standing all morning? The scolding waiting at home?

What was so remarkable about the Cao family? Every household had a prince or duke behind it. Even the Empress Dowager had to show some respect. Who was Cao Rui to think himself special?

“Move aside! I am the Fourth-Rank Military Inspector of Cangzhou—who dares block me?”

A middle-aged man pushed past the imperial guards’ blockade and swaggered through the crowd.

Titles were titles, and the imperial guards didn’t dare act rashly. Who knew what this gentleman’s background was? The capital was full of immortals.

“Stop him! Bind him and take him to the Southern Bureau prison!”

Cao Rui was furious.

“Who dares?”

The middle-aged man refused to yield.

The guards were caught in an awkward position. If they didn’t act, they’d face Cao’s wrath. If they did, they risked making an enemy and being exiled to a remote military province.

“Who said anything about prison? Then we’ll all go together!”

Someone from the crowd shouted dissent, hoping to stir up trouble. After all, they would have to report back to their masters anyway—why not shift the blame onto Cao Rui?

Fury spread like contagion; within breaths, a silent agreement formed among the crowd.

Let’s get him—make Cao Rui bear the blame for Zhoukou’s troubles!

“Come on, let’s go tour the prison with Lord Cao. I’ve never been inside!”

In a clamorous throng, the merchants even pulled the guards along into the city.

“Bastards, all of you mutinous? Attack them!”

Cao Rui raged, but no one obeyed—even his own men feigned deafness and stood still.

Frustrated, Cao Rui drew his sword.

“Stop! If you don’t, I’ll spill your blood right here!”

Shame and anger clouded his judgment.

Disaster seemed imminent as Cao Rui’s men tried to restrain him.

“Sir, you mustn’t, we have no warrant!”

At this critical moment, he could no longer heed reason.

Raising his blade, he charged—ready to shed blood.

Suddenly, Li Chang’an opened the door, beckoned Guang He out, and struck a tremendous gong.

He had pondered inside; he couldn’t let Cao Rui continue this riot—it would ultimately damage the young immortal’s reputation.

Delaying the project was one thing, but gaining a reputation for intimidating people with a sword would ruin his standing in the Song.

“Hey! Cease your violence! I shall accompany you all!”

Cao Rui halted; seeing Li Chang’an's firm stance, the crowd shuddered. Cao the madman truly meant business.

“Take them away—all of them! I’ll teach you to be arrogant by giving you a good meal in prison!”

At the sight of their lord’s command, the people relented. Well, if they were going to prison anyway, they might as well make friends.

The line stretched over a mile.

Heads entered East Cao Gate, while the tail hadn’t yet moved.

Captain Xing stayed close beside Li Chang’an, never daring to leave his side. Protecting the young immortal was an imperial order; any mistake would cost him his head.

The so-called Southern Bureau—the capital Bianliang was divided into northern and southern counties. The north was Xiangfu, the south Kaifeng. The Southern Bureau was the Imperial City Guard’s base in Kaifeng.

Founded by Emperor Taizu Zhao Kuangyin, the Imperial City Guard began with a thousand men in two battalions.

By Emperor Taizong’s reign, it had grown, and by Emperor Yingzong’s era, it numbered around three thousand.

Yet, their office space had never expanded, as the city lacked room.

The Southern Bureau was overseen by the eunuch Chen, who was essentially idle. The young emperor had yet to take charge of the Imperial City Guard, leaving them in a state of laxity.

Suddenly, seeing so many people hauled in by Deputy Commander Cao, Eunuch Chen was alarmed.

Had they raided someone’s house? Or busted a brothel at Fan Tower?

“General Cao, what is the meaning of this?”

Eunuch Chen wanted no part of this scandal. The Imperial City Guard was already short on funds, and he feared Cao Rui was extorting the merchants.

But this was too blatant—such reckless behavior was unprofessional in the extreme.