Chapter 56: Fu Bi Returns to Court (Requesting Monthly Tickets)

After a round of explanation from Qian Weiming, Li Chang'an finally realized he was in deep trouble.

Scolding people was no big deal. This was the Great Song Dynasty, where Kou Zhun had the guts to curse the emperor behind his back, and years later, Zhang Dun would brazenly tell Emperor Huizong that he was "too frivolous to rule the world."

If the emperor could be cursed, the prime minister certainly could be too, especially since he hadn't signed his real name.

The crux of the matter was that Wang Anshi had actually fainted from rage!

If Wang Anshi had been fine, this would merely be a dispute of public opinion, a war of words that at worst would result in the authorities raiding a small tabloid.

However, causing the reigning prime minister—the holder of the absolute highest practical power, the Council Co-signer—to pass out from anger was a crime against state law, tantamount to obstructing the New Policies reform.

Surrender? Who in their right mind would trust the integrity of the Song Dynasty's torture chambers?

Under the heavy wooden cangues and knee-presses, not just Li Chang'an, but even Yue Fei himself would have been forced to confess.

"Who has arrived? What is the situation out there?"

Qian Weiming turned around, peeking outside through a gap in the door.

"Unfamiliar faces. They aren't constables from the Kaifeng Prefecture, nor are they bailiffs from the Ministry of Punishments. They look like guards from the Jinwu Guard..."

A chill ran down Li Chang'an's spine. These were the emperor's men! Had he managed to anger the imperial palace?

Both the old dowager and the young emperor were prone to emotional reactions; it seemed he was inescapable this time.

The search party showed no signs of impatience, meticulously clearing courtyard by courtyard, gradually closing in on the small compound where Li Chang'an was hiding.

"Brothers as we are, could you take the fall for me? You know how it is—I lost my father since I was a child, my mother never loved me, and I've been drifting everywhere since I was ten..."

Qian Weiming wore an expression full of question marks. Brother, what kind of performance are you putting on for me right now?

You're one of the most notorious dissolute youths in Bianjing, yet you're playing the pitiful orphan? Do you take me for a fool?

"Chang'an, just keep your mouth shut once you're locked inside, and I'll mobilize all of the Qian family's influence to protect you. Leaving aside everything else, guaranteeing you a complete corpse is absolute."

"Damn it, can't you show a shred of sympathy? This fine head of mine—who dares to take it!"

Clang! The door was nearly pushed off its hinges.

"Open the door! The Court of Judicial Review is making an arrest! Five seconds and no opening, I'm smashing the door down!"

There was truly nowhere to hide inside the room; scrambling onto the roof to tear up tiles wasn't his specialty, unlike Shi Qian. Steeling his heart, he pulled the bolt and stepped aside.

"What the... heaven and earth preserve us!" The Jinwu Guard kicked into empty air, nearly doing an involuntary split.

"May I ask which official the bailiffs are here to arrest, what evidence you have, and on what grounds?"

When a blade is resting against your neck, it is the supreme moment to display one's grace, especially with so many young fans watching from the outside.

Li Chang'an squeezed his thighs together, puffed out his chest, sucked in his stomach, and lifted his chin.

The bailiff rubbed the root of his thigh and stood up, his face contorted in a grimace that twitched periodically.

He glanced at Li Chang'an and reached out behind him; someone handed over an official dispatch.

"Censor Xie has accused you of defaming state governance, launching vicious attacks against high-ranking pillars of the court, privately discussing the New Policies and reforms, and disrupting court order with crimes equivalent to treason. The Court of Judicial Review now orders you to appear for questioning and submit to trial. Any resistance will be treated as a challenge to national law and contempt for the imperial court."

They certainly knew how to slap terrifying labels on people. Just listening to these charges was enough to have his entire family, young and old, executed multiple times over, before digging up their ancestral graves to grind their bones to dust and scatter the ashes.

"Is there any evidence?"

"Hmph hmph..." The Jinwu Guard grabbed Li Chang'an by the shoulder. "Censors impeach based on hearsay and rumors. What evidence do you need?"

"Then go easy on your torture. This official is a Chengxin Lang specially bestowed by the Emperor himself, and just the day before yesterday, I was appointed as an Academician of the Zizheng Hall. Weiming, why are you standing there stunned? Go fetch my official credentials!"

Li Chang'an was genuinely terrified of pain. The mere thought of thumb-screws, tiger benches, and red-hot irons from television dramas made his crotch tighten involuntarily.

Punishments do not apply to scholar-officials—he fervently hoped this historical rumor was true!

The crowd parted as the Jinwu Guard escorted Li Chang'an forward. Along the way, the expressions in everyone's eyes varied—some showed concern, some fear, and others excitement.

Soon, Qian Weiming retrieved two sets of official seals along with the press pass issued by the Censorate.

After inspecting them, the Jinwu Guard ceased treating Li Chang'an roughly.

They boarded a carriage, and the group headed into the inner city.

Along the way, he rehearsed countless times in his mind how he would sophistically argue and clear himself of charges.

Upon arriving at the Court of Judicial Review, a shout from the bailiff in charge and the roar of the two rows of runners instantly shattered all his meticulously prepared rhetoric.

"Is the person below Li Chang'an, maternal grandson of the Zhang family from Tianshui Lane in the West City?"

"Answer!" The two rows of bailiffs struck their water-and-fire staves against the ground in unison, giving him such a fright he thought the torture was about to begin right then and there.

"Though my official rank is modest, I do not deserve to be treated with such disdain. May I ask, honorable official, I am also an Academician of the Zizheng Hall and an imperial censor of the Censorate—under what pretense are you trying me?"

Hearing this, the official presiding over the court slammed his gavel down fiercely.

"Audacious scoundrel! You actually dare to hold the laws of the Great Song in contempt! Drag him down and administer thirty disciplinary beatings!"

Li Chang'an felt a slight pang of regret; he really should have cleansed his bowels after lunch. Once these thirty heavy staves came down, it would be extremely difficult to keep himself from losing control.

Two men stepped forward, reaching under his armpits to grab his arms, half-lifting and half-dragging him out of the main hall.

"I am an official! An official, do you hear me? Punishments do not apply to scholar-officials, by the ancestral precepts of the founding emperor! You... you..."

Years later, whenever Li Chang'an reminisced about the past, he would always remember that afternoon when he was hauled into the Court of Judicial Review to face the execution squad...

"Hold your hands!"

A low, thunderous roar filled with majestic authority stopped the bailiffs just as they swung their staves high up into the air.

In the bright daylight, Li Chang'an felt that if a single one of those staves landed, not even Hua Tuo himself could piece his pelvis back together.

A bustling crowd surged into the courtyard of the Court of Judicial Review.

At the head of them was an old man wearing an embroidered golden robe and a winged official cap. Who else could it be if not elder Fu Bi, whom he had previously paid respects to?

With a wave of the old man's hand, several hefty guards from the Imperial City Agency rushed forward, hoisted Li Chang'an to his feet, and sheltered him behind them.

Immediately afterward, orders were given for the people inside to be notified: the prime minister had arrived at the tribunal, and the senior and junior officials were to come out and pay their respects.

Ordinary people could never pull off such an aura, but Fu Bi certainly could. At present, he was the Military Commissioner of Zhenhai, the Duke of Zheng, Vice Director of the Secretariat-Chancellery, Council Co-signer, and Academician of the Zhaowen Pavilion.

Whenever Wang Anshi was fine, Fu Bi was the Senior Prime Minister; now that Wang Anshi had passed out, Fu Bi stood entirely alone as the supreme, unassailable prime minister.

Never mind the Court of Judicial Review—even if he met the Emperor Zhao Xu face-to-face, the Emperor would have to bow to him first.

After all, he was still the trusted grand minister entrusted with the orphan emperor by Emperor Yingzong, ranking first among all veteran confidants.

The Chief Justice of the Court of Judicial Review rarely presided over court sessions there; he usually worked at the Administration Hall or held other positions directly before the emperor.

Hearing that Prime Minister Fu Bi had summoned them, the on-duty officials, both high and low, hurriedly dropped their work and rushed out to report for duty.

"I have use for this man. Once I am finished with him, I will return him to you—or you may send the Chief Justice of the Court of Judicial Review to the Administration Hall to demand him!"

The old man was completely unreasonable. Everyone looked at one another, each playing deaf and dumb.

In our Great Song Dynasty, offending the emperor was no big deal—at worst, you would be exiled to Guangxi. But if you offended Prime Minister Fu, were you hoping to move to the Liao Dynasty, or flee to the Northwest?

Li Chang'an rubbed his rear end, feeling that it was still soft and intact—that had been a terrifyingly close shave.

"Consider this beating temporarily recorded in your ledger. The Grand Dowager Empress and His Majesty have summoned us. Better figure out what you're going to say in your defense, otherwise, you might actually be making a trip to the Underworld this time!"

Oh dear, why did this old man's crow mouth have to sound so ominous?

"Lord Fu, mortals eat grains from the five fields; naturally, they cannot escape natural disasters and sudden illnesses. Our Great Song does not practice witchcraft or curses—how can you pin this matter entirely on me?"

Fu Bi didn't turn back to look at him, boarding his carriage with a gloomy face and giving his subordinates a look. Two burly guards grabbed Li Chang'an and forced him to walk right behind the carriage.

"Lord Fu? Lord Fu! At least let me ride as well; my legs are going weak!"

No one paid him any mind. The carriage sped onward, circling all the way to the eastern gate of the imperial palace, where they underwent a security check before proceeding deeper into the inner sanctum.

Ah well! In the end, entering the palace was unavoidable after all.

I wonder if the Chief Eunuch has entered the palace yet? Is he currently hanging out in the Imperial Kitchen or the Directorate of Palace Attire at a time like this?

(Thank you all for your support. I am working hard to stockpile chapters and waiting for the official release to burst forth with mass updates.)