Chapter 57: Having a Home

At first, Yin Xingyue did not like her grandmother at all.

That was right after her father had passed away and her mother sent her back to the countryside.

She thought her grandmother was old and ugly, and she resented the fact that her grandmother looked down on her for being a girl.

She clearly remembered how her grandmother often sighed while looking at her, saying, “If only you were a boy…”

But at some point, she began to grow fond of her grandmother.

Perhaps it was when she wanted to eat chicken in the bitter cold of winter, and her grandmother got up early to kill a chicken for her…

Perhaps it was when she wished for a ballpoint pen, and despite the pouring rain and muddy roads, her grandmother trudged to town to buy one—though she ended up bringing back just a pencil…

Perhaps it was when she cried and threw tantrums, and her grandmother never got angry but gently caressed her cheek with her rough hands, smiling all the while…

Perhaps it was during the summer, when she lay beside her grandmother, who gently fanned her with a palm leaf fan while she closed her eyes…

Yin Xingyue did not answer her grandmother’s question, and the old woman did not ask again.

Together, they went to town, and as usual, her grandmother went to the recycling station to sell things.

But unlike before, she did not rush home dragging a small cart.

Instead, she went into a shop and bought a headband.

It was an old-fashioned kind—black, twisted iron wire with no decorations or embellishments.

Her grandmother placed the headband on her head and asked with a smile, “Doesn’t this look neater?”

“You look very pretty, Grandma,” Yin Xingyue said happily.

Her grandmother chuckled, “An old lady like me, pretty for what?”

Then she took Yin Xingyue’s hand and went next door to a toy store, where she bought her a pair of butterfly wings to wear on her back.

She chose the biggest and most beautiful pair, naturally the most expensive.

She pulled out an old handkerchief from her pocket and counted out the small change for several minutes before paying.

“Grandma, you remembered?” Yin Xingyue held the butterfly wings, feeling tears prick at the corners of her eyes.

Besides stationery and food, her grandmother rarely bought her toys, thinking they were useless and would eventually be discarded—a waste of money.

Her grandmother’s favorite saying was that only what you eat and keep inside truly belongs to you.

The last time Yin Xingyue had asked her grandmother for butterfly wings was because she saw a child in the village wearing a beautiful pair.

But her grandmother always said, “Next time, I’ll buy it for you next time…”

And then there was no next time.

Yin Xingyue wanted to tell her grandmother that she no longer liked such things now, that she had grown up and was no longer a little girl.

But—somehow, she still felt a little happy.

On the way back, her grandmother helped her put on the wings.

“They’re so pretty, like a little fairy,” her grandmother said with a smile.

“Grandma, I’m dead now, a ghost, not a fairy,” Yin Xingyue replied.

Her grandmother fell silent, walking a while before saying, “But I feel like you’re still alive. You don’t look dead at all. Your mother must have tricked me, right?”

Yin Xingyue shook her head and then told her about Shen Siyuan.

“So you met a master,” her grandmother said happily.

“You should thank him properly,” she added, asking for the master’s name and where he lived in detail.

Yin Xingyue thought they were just chatting and told her.

About two weeks later, one day when Shen Siyuan came home from work, he found a note on the door saying someone was waiting at the gatehouse.

When he went, he saw the old woman who had been there since the morning, holding a freshly slaughtered chicken, a basket of eggs, some scattered coins wrapped in a handkerchief, and the butterfly wings.

No one knew how she had found him or managed to carry all those things…

But that is a story for another time.

From beginning to end, her grandmother never asked why Yin Xingyue had tried to take her own life.

Instead, Yin Xingyue herself could not help but ask why her grandmother never inquired.

Her grandmother said, “When people are alive, they often face obstacles they can’t overcome. When I was young, I often thought about dying, too. But I was an adult, so I gritted my teeth and got through it. But you’re still a kid. It’s normal if you can’t get past it yet…”

Hearing this, Yin Xingyue burst into tears.

She hadn’t cried like this for a very long time.

Her grandmother gently wiped her tears with her rough hands.

With tearful eyes, she said, “The thing I regret most is entrusting you to your mother. She’s your mother; she should have helped you get through this…”

“I didn’t want to either…”

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“Mom, was Dad really in the underworld before?”

When she saw her father go into the kitchen, Zhu Tingting whispered to her mother.

Du Xiuzhi pulled her daughter into her arms, stroking her hair gently. “Don’t listen to rumors. Your father was very honest when he was young.”

“But… but…”

“Are you talking about the tattoo on Dad’s arm?”

Du Xiuzhi turned her daughter toward her and looked at her.

Zhu Tingting obediently nodded.

“That was to protect me. He got that tattoo on purpose. I bet he cried his eyes out at the time. Your dad was a little crybaby when he was young, always crying…”

Zhu Tingting’s eyes widened in disbelief.

“Mom wouldn’t lie.”

Du Xiuzhi smiled as she recounted the past.

“That was me. Your dad and I were neighbors. But I was a good student, and your dad was a bit of a goof, so he dropped out of junior high and went to work…”

“He earned some money and often bought me things…”

“Then something happened in my family. Your maternal grandparents passed away, and relatives thought I was an easy target since I was just a little girl. One after another, they came to cause trouble…”

“Your dad protected me, argued with them, and fought them off…”

“To scare them, your dad got tattoos, dyed his hair, carried a knife, and cried as he swung it around. It scared all those relatives away…”

“Later, the police caught your dad and he spent several months in jail. But before he was caught, he threatened those relatives — if they bullied me again, he would come out and take them all down…”

“After that, no one dared to come and bother me anymore…”

“Wow, Dad’s amazing!” Zhu Tingting’s eyes were wide with admiration, the first time she had ever looked up to her father like that.

“So, you can’t be weak. Being weak means getting bullied. You have to learn to be strong. Some things you shouldn’t keep from your closest people—you have to face and solve problems together. You’re still a kid…”

Du Xiuzhi gently tapped her daughter’s nose, hinting at something.

“So… what happened after that?”

“After that… your dad kept working, and I continued studying. When I graduated, we got married, and then you were born…”

Du Xiuzhi smiled softly, lost in memories.

Zhu Guangfa came out of the kitchen and saw the two happily laughing.

He looked suspicious and said, “You’re not talking bad about me, are you?”

“Mom said you were a little crybaby when you were young.”

“How can you say that to her? Don’t I have any pride?” Zhu Guangfa protested.

Mother and daughter laughed even louder.