Desire

The weekend slipped away swiftly, and on Monday morning, Pei Huan arrived in the classroom, her mind still clouded by sleep. Yet, when she caught sight of Lu Yinghuai’s face, she suddenly remembered what Ji Qinshu had told her last Friday: that she and Lu Yinghuai were a good match. The thought jolted her awake; she didn’t even dare to look at Lu Yinghuai as she took her seat.

Lu Yinghuai, oblivious to Pei Huan’s subtle shift in mood, wore two earbuds, listening to music.

Pei Huan had a habit of stealing glances at him out of the corner of her eye. His profile was sharp and cold, and his usual lack of expression only made him appear more aloof now. Yet, this icy demeanor lent him a certain refined clarity, and his looks were exceptional; many people agreed Lu Yinghuai was handsome.

After a few furtive seconds, Pei Huan pulled her gaze away, pretending to study her exercise book in earnest.

When morning reading ended, the students had to go downstairs for the flag-raising ceremony. Tang Yue went down with Pei Huan, both still half asleep, yawning as they chatted and shuffled along with the crowd down to the first floor.

Today’s speech under the flag was given by Yuan Tao. Her voice echoed through the school’s broadcast, even more pleasant and melodious. Pei Huan heard not only boys from her own class praising Yuan Tao, but even boys from the neighboring class standing beside her seemed to have a fondness for her.

Listening to the chatter around her, Pei Huan let her gaze fall lazily on Yuan Tao, who spoke calmly on stage. Yuan Tao stood at a height of one meter sixty-five, a standard among girls, and coupled with her excellent grades and pretty appearance, her smile carried a natural warmth. Many boys at Fifth High regarded Yuan Tao as their goddess.

Tang Yue had mentioned Yuan Tao’s family background was impressive, enough to rival Lu Yinghuai’s. If the two were to be united by marriage one day, it would indeed surprise no one.

Pei Huan watched from the audience, her mind wandering, conjuring all sorts of strange ideas. By the end, she nearly convinced herself that Lu Yinghuai and Yuan Tao were destined for each other before quickly halting her thoughts.

Autumn had brought cooler weather, but with the sun’s direct rays in the morning, Pei Huan found herself squinting against the light, and eventually she lowered her head to toy with the grass underfoot.

Yuan Tao’s speech ended, earning well-deserved applause, and Pei Huan clapped absentmindedly.

Next came several troublemakers reading their written apologies. Their words, amplified through the speakers, sounded proper on paper, but when spoken by these students, lacked any hint of genuine remorse—just as they themselves believed.

After nearly half an hour, the flag-raising ceremony concluded. Pei Huan’s feet were aching, and she stretched them before leaving with Tang Yue.

"I’m exhausted. What could they possibly talk about for so long?" Tang Yue grumbled.

"That’s how school leaders are," Pei Huan shrugged helplessly. "They drone on, but hardly anyone listens."

Back in the classroom, the students were still restless: some chatting, some fetching water. Pei Huan was dragged over to chat with Li Xuan and the others, returning to her seat only as the lesson was about to begin.

The first period was Chinese. The pace this semester was relentless; they were nearly done with the junior year’s textbook. If Pei Huan’s attention wandered even slightly, she missed the key points. When the bell rang for the end of class, the tense string in her mind snapped, and the forgotten fatigue surged back. Unable to resist, she laid her head on the desk and drifted off to sleep.

Lu Yinghuai was playing games on his phone. Noticing Pei Huan asleep, he quieted his movements considerably.

Pei Huan showed no sign of waking as the next lesson approached. This was typical for her; once she was sound asleep, it was hard to rouse her.

Lu Yinghuai put away his phone in the drawer, then gently shook Pei Huan’s arm. "Wake up, class is starting."

Pei Huan lifted her head from her arms, squinting to adjust to the sudden light. "Which class is this?"

"Politics," Lu Yinghuai replied.

Pei Huan slowly packed away her Chinese books and materials, took out her politics textbook, and began to doze again out of habit.

She nodded off briefly, opening her eyes when the politics teacher entered, groggily flipping through her textbook.

"I’m so sleepy, Lu Yinghuai," Pei Huan murmured without thinking.

"What time did you sleep last night?" Lu Yinghuai asked.

She thought for a moment. "Around one, almost two."

Lu Yinghuai glanced at her with an impassive expression. "Why don’t you just pull an all-nighter and come straight to class?"

His tone was icy. Pei Huan instinctively shrank her neck, replying, "I couldn’t help it—I’d just finished playing games."

Lu Yinghuai looked at her coldly and said nothing more, and Pei Huan didn’t dare speak to him again for the rest of the period.

The school’s sports meet was scheduled for Thursday and Friday that week, spanning two days. The students at Fifth High arrived early, moving chairs down to the field. The school assigned each class a spot; once they found it, they settled there.

Everyone was in high spirits, as it was a rare chance to play freely amid their intense studies. The opening ceremony was grand, with students carrying flags and running laps around the field, stirring up excitement and cheers among the crowd.

As the streamers fell, the annual sports meet officially began. After settling their chairs at their class’s spot, students participating in events went for registration. Tang Yue had signed up to work at the broadcasting booth, so she was in the broadcast room. Pei Huan, alone and bored, sat on her chair watching the field, listlessly.

Li Xuan suddenly plopped down beside her. Pei Huan looked at him in surprise. "Didn’t you sign up?"

"It’s not starting yet," Li Xuan said.

They chatted idly, and soon Wang Xun joined them with his chair, turning their trio into a small cluster. More people gradually gathered, and their conversation became lively and varied.

While chatting, Pei Huan glanced around at her classmates. She recalled that Lu Yinghuai hadn’t signed up for any sports events—she’d seen him during the opening ceremony, but now he was nowhere to be found.

Wang Xun noticed Pei Huan scanning the crowd. "Looking for someone?"

Pei Huan shook her head. "No."

After a while, Pei Huan excused herself to use the restroom. On her way back, she changed direction on a whim and, just as expected, found Lu Yinghuai at his usual spot. He was absorbed in his game, but when he sensed someone approaching, he looked up with a cold, forbidding expression. Yet when he saw Pei Huan, he hesitated.

Pei Huan’s heart quivered under his icy gaze; she rarely saw Lu Yinghuai like this. Even when he kept his face expressionless, he never looked so severe.

Seeing Pei Huan stand there, startled, Lu Yinghuai felt a moment of regret and asked, "Did I scare you?"

"A bit," Pei Huan nodded.

"...Sorry," Lu Yinghuai said in a low voice.

Pei Huan didn’t mind, and she sat down beside him. Lu Yinghuai watched her quietly take her place next to him, saying nothing.

"Why aren’t you at the main base?" Pei Huan asked offhandedly.

"Seeking some peace," Lu Yinghuai answered.

"But it’s so lively," Pei Huan remarked. "Watching the competitions is fun, and some people asked me to cheer for them."

From here, they could hear the music from the field. Lu Yinghuai glanced in that direction, then withdrew his gaze, seeming uninterested. Pei Huan said nothing more.

Lu Yinghuai had already put away his phone. Opportunities for them to talk alone were rare, so he treasured these moments. Yet he wasn’t much of a talker, only responding to Pei Huan rather than initiating conversation, which suited her just fine; she continued to chat away.

After a while, Pei Huan stood up. Lu Yinghuai’s eyes followed her, and he asked, almost unconsciously, "Are you leaving?"

There was a hint of disappointment in his voice that even he didn’t notice. Pei Huan didn’t think much of it. "Li Xuan and the others know I went to the restroom—if I disappear too long, they’ll search the whole place for me."

She joked, but Lu Yinghuai felt a sudden, inexplicable sense of loss.

He’d always known Pei Huan was popular, but hearing her say it made him feel unusually low-spirited.

He wanted to chat with her too, but this was something Lu Yinghuai could never say aloud. As he watched her walk away, he silently put on his headphones and resumed the game he hadn’t finished.

Yuan Tao, by chance, saw Lu Yinghuai alone in this spot. A flash of delight crossed her eyes.

Sensing someone approach, Lu Yinghuai thought it was Pei Huan returning, but when he saw it was Yuan Tao, he dropped his gaze again.

Yuan Tao sat where Pei Huan had just been, smiling as she asked, "Why are you sitting here alone?"

Lu Yinghuai’s eyes never left his phone. "It’s quiet," he replied coldly.

Yuan Tao was used to his attitude and didn’t mind. She chattered on for a while, but Lu Yinghuai never responded. Her smile stiffened for a moment as she glanced at his game and then, as if casually, asked, "What are you playing?"

"Game," Lu Yinghuai replied tersely.

She sensed he had no interest in conversing and, after sitting a little longer, rose to leave. She glanced down at him deeply before departing.

Pei Huan returned to her original spot. A group of friends saw her and asked, "You were in the restroom that long?"

"For a big one, what’s the matter?" she shot Wang Xun a look.

"You were gone so long, we thought you were off holding hands with some boy," Li Xuan teased.

"Looking for trouble, are you, Li Xuan?" Pei Huan laughed and scolded.

She recalled her recent quiet conversation with Lu Yinghuai—a rare moment just the two of them. She hadn’t wasted a second, chatting freely and savoring the tranquility.

But would Lu Yinghuai ever like a girl like her?

That was the thought that lingered in Pei Huan’s mind.