Chapter 77: Between Reward and Punishment

Not a single word of the five-thousand-word self-criticism was written by Xiao Cheng himself. Fortunately, Chen Guo, Wu Xiaodong, and Shi Jianfeng each had a three-thousand-word essay. He simply went to their class, pieced together the three apologies, and created this long, misshapen monstrosity.

Principal Niu was fuming as he read Xiao Cheng’s self-criticism. “Because last time Wen Xiaocheng caused trouble in our class and even beat up Qiu Hui, this time Qiu Hui invited us to Class Eight, Grade Two, to reason things out...” And you didn’t even bother changing the names when you copied? The next part was even more infuriating: “Although Wen Xiaocheng hit me, I did have my own faults as well...” So you beat yourself up? An internal struggle? Truly, one’s greatest enemy in life is oneself!

“I didn’t copy!” Xiao Cheng still wore a look of aggrieved innocence.

“You didn’t even change the names, and you claim you didn’t copy?” Principal Niu was practically beside himself.

“Chen Guo copied it for me!”

The sheer brazenness!

“Principal Niu, don’t be angry. In fact, I’m pretty furious about this myself. He’s already in his third year of middle school, and when asked to write a self-criticism, he can’t even change the names? All those years of schooling have gone to waste! I’ll be sure to give him a good talking-to later! This is outrageous!”

Old Niu snatched up the newspaper from his desk and hurled it out the door. Truly, just as overly clean water breeds no fish, an utterly shameless person is invincible. To openly defy your elders in such a flagrant manner—do you really think you’re the boss of this school?

Right then, Section Chief Qiu called. Hearing the leader’s voice, Niu Dalong immediately switched expressions. His plump face beamed so broadly that his features nearly disappeared into the folds of his flesh.

Though ingratiating, he still clung to basic principles and kept his bottom line. At least he managed to protect Wen Xiaocheng’s student status. But having just been worked up into a rage by Xiao Cheng, and now having to take the blame for him, he was thoroughly frustrated. As he fielded the call, he glared daggers at Wen Xiaocheng, his tone fawning on the phone while his eyes shot thunderbolts across the office—a curious juxtaposition.

The phone wasn’t of the best quality, but Xiao Cheng could hear every word from the other end. Principal Niu was annoyed, and so was he. Seizing a moment when Fat Niu was distracted, he strode over, snatched the phone, and unleashed a tirade at Qiu Hui’s father, Qiu Zeyan, without rhyme or reason.

After hanging up, Fat Niu’s face was a picture of sorrow—beyond mere anger now. Wen Xiaocheng, what grudge do we share, that you must do me in like this? That was my direct superior! One report to the organization department and my days as principal are finished!

“Principal Niu, I always knew you wouldn’t bow to the powerful or stoop for a meager wage! How could you ever fawn and grovel before the mighty, sacrificing your joy and dignity? That’s the true backbone of a scholar!”

“Backbone, my foot! Rewrite your self-criticism! Ten thousand words! Tomorrow, no group exercises. The whole school will listen to you alone!”

...

The self-criticism was promptly tossed back at Xiao Cheng, who in turn threw it back to Chen Guo.

“Grown as you are, can’t you even write a self-criticism? How do you expect to make your way in the world without this skill? Rewrite! Ten thousand words!”

One must wield authority from time to time, or what’s the point of being the school’s top dog? To punish Chen Guo, Wu Xiaodong, Shi Jianfeng, and the others for their half-hearted apologies, Xiao Cheng assigned each of them extra work—various grueling problem sets. If they couldn’t finish, he’d beat them. Under such inhumane torment, these boys made remarkable progress before the high school entrance exams, even managing to leap into the ranks of top students.

The teachers of their classes were astonished. The usual troublemakers were now diligently working during self-study periods. They thought the boys had turned over a new leaf, until they saw Wen Xiaocheng inspecting their homework after class, kicking each of them several times. Only then did they understand what was really going on. The teachers took note: to deal with these little rascals, you have to be a bigger rascal than them.

Nowadays, the reason primary and secondary students behave is simply that their teachers and principals outdo them in mischief.

With the downfall of Qiu Hui’s gang, Wen Xiaocheng finally became the most notorious troublemaker in the school. The next morning, during the early assembly, Principal Niu announced over the school broadcast that the group exercises were suspended for a day and ordered Wen Xiaocheng of Class Eight, Grade Two, to issue a public apology to the entire school. His tone was unprecedentedly stern and resolute, making even bystanders shudder.

Almost every school has group exercises, usually held during the break after the second period. “The Nth set of radio calisthenics, now begin. First set, stretch—one, two, three, four; two, two, three, four; three, two, three, four; once more...” Anyone who’s been to school knows the drill. Some residents living near schools suffer because of it; if there’s a nearby square, it’s even livelier—radio calisthenics in the morning, and in the evening, “You are my little, little apple!”

The public apology was scheduled for the break after the second period, but before even the first period was over, Old Niu couldn’t wait. He nodded to Teacher Kong, who was teaching at the time, and pointed at Wen Xiaocheng. “Wen Xiaocheng, come with me for a moment!”

Kong Qingguo looked baffled and asked nervously, “Principal, has Xiao Cheng caused trouble again?”

Niu Dalong wore a helpless expression. In truth, this time the trouble was his.

Director Chen of the Municipal Education Bureau had just called, saying he wanted to meet the prodigy of No. 2 Middle School. His tone was full of admiration, yet here they were, making Wen Xiaocheng issue a public apology—wasn’t that a slap in the leader’s face?

Fat Niu walked ahead, Xiao Cheng followed behind. The corridors echoed with the sound of reading. The principal, with his protruding belly, entered his office, closed the door, and gestured toward the sofa. “Have a seat.”

Most people never enjoy such treatment in the principal’s office. Xiao Cheng was surprised—since when did Old Niu change his ways?

“In view of your recent consistently good behavior and genuine signs of remorse, the school has decided to rescind your major demerit.” Even as he spoke, Niu Dalong felt a pang of guilt.

Wasn’t the punishment just handed down yesterday? “Consistently good behavior”? He’d gotten into a fight the day before yesterday, submitted that farcical self-criticism yesterday. Even he couldn’t bear to look at this “good behavior.” Was the principal drunk?

“Principal Niu, I know you like me, but let’s stick to business. If I deserve punishment, punish me. Didn’t we agree on that? Besides, beating up Qiu Hui was immensely satisfying—I have no regrets about that demerit.”

Principal Niu felt on the verge of tears. “Our school has to consider your future. We focus mainly on criticism and education. Since you’re willing to reform, the school should give you that chance.”

“Principal Niu, let’s be clear—punishment is one thing, remorse is another. I accept the demerit, but I absolutely do not repent. If Qiu Hui tries to pull anything again, I’ll knock him down once more!”

“It was your first offense, after all...”

“I beat up Qiu Hui again last Tuesday, and before that I hit Zhang Peiyue...”

“Do you want me to execute you? It’s this hard to get your punishment lifted? Can’t you just shut up for a minute?” Principal Niu was on the verge of collapse.

“But I still have to give a public apology later...”

“Make it an acceptance speech instead...”

“What?”

“Who knows how you managed it, you little rascal, but you finished in fifteen minutes and got a perfect score! Director Chen from the Municipal Education Bureau is coming to see you, says he wants to set you up as a model student! I don’t dare punish you now, all right?” Old Niu finally spilled the truth.

“Acceptance speech... Principal Niu, that’s tough. Chen Guo and the others could barely manage a self-criticism—getting them to write an acceptance speech on such short notice is really asking too much.”

“This time, you don’t need them. I’ll write it for you myself...” Old Niu said with a complex mix of emotions.

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An unconventional thrill, the unique Wen-style humor—“Brainwashed” is worth your time. Feed the author, friends.