Chapter 27: All Lies

“Invincible? How lonely, how unbearably lonely it is to be invincible.” Chen Fan couldn’t help but hum softly to himself. “Does it really have such a miraculous effect? Even if you’re blasted to pieces by a missile, you’d be fine?”

The elder pressed his palms together, ending his exercise and standing at attention. “Wishful thinking. It only temporarily dulls your sense of pain. The actual injuries are still there.”

Chen Fan was taken aback. No wonder he’d felt nothing after a whole day of sparring—it was the Guardian’s medallion at work.

“This skill seems rather ordinary. It doesn’t grant immunity to damage. Wait, doesn’t that mean when the effect wears off tonight, all the pain will come rushing in at once?”

The elder nodded. “Young people are always roughhousing, breaking an arm or a leg is common enough, yet rarely do you see anyone confined to a wheelchair. Don’t worry, just rest for a couple of days and you’ll be fine.”

“In that case, I’d better get some early sleep tonight, so I don’t spend the night tossing and turning in pain.” Chen Fan mused, though he couldn’t imagine where such a skill might be useful—acting as a human punching bag? Becoming the campus tough guy? Neither seemed quite appropriate.

“Who are you talking to?” Lai Guangyi craned his neck curiously.

“No one. I was just trying to see if I could call my ladybug back. After raising it for so long, I’ve grown a bit attached,” Chen Fan fibbed with a straight face.

“If you want to call it, you should try down by the bushes. It’s been gone a whole day, probably far away by now,” Lai Guangyi replied, scratching his head.

“Hmm, you’re probably right. I’ll go now.” Chen Fan had no intention of actually searching the bushes—it was just an excuse to go down for a meal.

The university canteen’s reputation as the “Ninth Cuisine” was well earned; all manner of bizarre and dubious concoctions appeared on the menu, and one careless moment meant falling victim.

Chen Fan didn’t bother with the menu, simply pointed at a large dish and said, “I’ll have the braised lion’s head meatball.”

The canteen worker, not paying much attention, brandished a ladle with practiced flair, scooping and shaking the contents clean in front of Chen Fan, displaying a skill for flicking away scraps.

“What on earth is this meat? Why does it taste like orange peel?” Chen Fan took a bite, only to find the flavor all wrong—the pork was impossible to chew and gave off a faint, citrusy aroma.

It was orange peel! And not fresh, but aged!

Chen Fan picked up a chunk with his chopsticks and examined it closely. This dish only looked like braised lion’s head; in reality, it was something else entirely.

Not one to give up, Chen Fan went to check the menu and discovered there was no braised lion’s head today. There was only stir-fried pork with dried orange peel.

“Chef, you really got me—this orange peel is a whole slab,” Chen Fan laughed bitterly and ordered two more dishes, eating them together with the orange peel.

“The camouflage uniforms have arrived. Chen Fan, what size do you wear? Is extra-large okay?” Xu Changhui burst into the dorm, arms laden with four sets of camouflage.

“The others aren’t here. Let’s pick ours first. Are there two large ones?” Lai Guangyi asked, holding a cup of instant noodles.

“I’m back,” Chen Fan announced as he stepped in.

“I can wear both large and extra-large, but there are only three large ones, so I’ll take the extra-large,” Chen Fan said, checking the tags. Of all his roommates, he was the only one who really needed the extra-large.

“All right, here you go.” Xu Changhui handed him the only extra-large set.

“Where’s Wei Youlong? Still not back from dinner?” Chen Fan asked.

“No idea. Before he left, he dressed up to the nines, like he was going on a blind date, even put on some overpowering cologne—it was so strong I sneezed,” Lai Guangyi joked.

“Whatever, hope he stays out all night,” Chen Fan said, feeling relieved at the prospect of a quieter dorm.

“We’re all roommates—how can you say that?” Xu Changhui was a bit puzzled.

“Don’t you guys find him a little annoying?” Chen Fan pressed.

“Not at all. I think Dragon Bro has great presence—he’s got that big brother vibe. The school celebrities were a lot like him, and this is the closest I’ve ever been to an idol,” Xu Changhui replied with a grin.

“Maybe that’s just how city folks talk,” Lai Guangyi added. “I don’t see anything wrong with him. He’s positive, encourages us to keep regular hours, helps us adjust our routines—what a good roommate.”

These two were truly easy-going. Chen Fan was momentarily at a loss and changed the subject. “That school celebrity you mentioned, what did he do—and where did he end up?”

Xu Changhui reminisced, “He was called Dragon Bro too—a senior a year ahead. They said his influence covered five miles around the school. He was always saying ‘to hell with everything,’ though we never knew what it meant.”

Lai Guangyi chimed in, “He fell for the campus beauty, fought her boyfriend, won, then went out for spicy hotpot but forgot his wallet, got into a scuffle with the vendor, trashed the stall, and got beaten so badly his own mother wouldn’t have recognized him.”

“But wasn’t he supposed to run the place? How’d he get beaten up so easily?” Chen Fan opened a bag of sunflower seeds, listening to their tale.

“Because the hotpot at the school gate is so good, anyone who picks a fight there is up against the whole student body. And when the big tree falls, the monkeys scatter—he was arrested that night, and no one cared after that. Life went on as usual,” Xu Changhui explained.

“Well, that’s ridiculous…”

Chen Fan suddenly realized how monotonous his school life had been—nothing interesting ever happened. All he did was study, day in and day out. His alma mater was even jokingly called Abyssal Fish First Prison—school was like serving a sentence, and Chen Fan had served a full three-year term.

“If Wei Youlong were really as dramatic as Xu Changhui’s Dragon Bro, I’d actually be eager to see it. I’d love to watch that annoying guy get his comeuppance for once,” Chen Fan thought, quietly amused.

He pulled on the camouflage uniform and examined himself in the mirror. The material was nothing special, and it didn’t compare to his own clothes for comfort.

…

“Hey, Wei Youlong, you’re back,” Chen Fan called out, glancing at the clock—just three minutes to curfew. Why couldn’t the guy have tripped on the way back, or gotten lost, so Chen Fan could have a peaceful night?

Even from half a meter away, the smoky aroma of street barbecue clung to Wei Youlong, mixed with stale tobacco and alcohol.

“Is there such a thing as barbecue-scented cologne?” Chen Fan wondered.

“Ah, what a shame. With girls, you’ve got to take it slowly. If it doesn’t work once, try two or three times. At least I know she’s interested,” Wei Youlong said, tossing his bangs, leaving Chen Fan visibly awkward.

“Dragon Bro, who caught your eye? Making a move so soon?” Xu Changhui asked as he emerged from the shower, a towel draped over his shoulders.

“That Xu Ying girl—you know her?” Wei Youlong lit a cigarette, savoring the memory.

Chen Fan searched his memory and couldn’t recall the name—she must not have been among the pretty ones.

“No, does she even exist?” Xu Changhui shook his head.

“The one with the biggest chest,” Wei Youlong replied with a nostalgic smile.

“Oh, I remember now,” said Xu Changhui.

And so did Chen Fan.